It has been a while since I last posted anything….for those of you who read my blog I want to say hello and it is good to be with you again.
A girlfriend of mine and I were recently talking about our dating experiences and what was going on currently in our love lives. One of the topics that came up in our conversation was the fact that we both have the inclination to reach back into our pasts at times when we are not seeing people. We referred to this as trying to “resurrect the dead”, so to speak, or bringing life to a dead relationship. After our discussion I really had to sit down and thing about this tendency. I thought about the people who I have dated in the past whose numbers are still in my reach. I thought about the fact that I do not see the finality of a relationship’s ending just because that person and I are able to be amicable and get along. So why then is it that even though I know that the relationship was not working and ran its course do I go back and try to bring it back to life in periods of singleness???
For one- I look at the characteristics of the men that I date. I tend to think that because they are good people at heart, (have good morals and values, are ambitious, come from good family structures and have their heads on straight in some capacity) that this somehow excuses the fact that they may have not been good people for me. It also somehow excuses how they may have treated me in the past. It is like time has been a magical pill that has instantly cured all of the flaws that caused the relationship to end previously. I also make excuses for those unwilling to commit and fool myself into thinking that once they have had some time they will get to the point where they are ready and I will just happen to be the person who is in the right place at the right time…..
I believe another reason is that I have not been forward thinking and believing in the past. I believed that the best had already occurred in my dating life, so there was not the possibility that something or someone even better would come into my life. I don’t get very spiritual when I write usually but I feel it very important that I make something clear here. A lot of us spend time not believing enough in God and in ourselves to have faith that the best is yet to come. We limit what can be done in our lives with this thinking. We feel sorry for ourselves for failed relationships and we start to convince ourselves that there is not a possibility of something better coming along. It shatters our confidence and self-esteem and yes, ultimately we are alone while we have this train of thought. No matter how miserable a relationship may have been with a person we cling to it because it is comfortable and we think that is all we deserve.
In my 38 years of living I have come to realize that there have only been a couple of successful resurrections….I think you know where I am going with this. I do know Lazarus was resurrected from the dead by Jesus. I also know Jesus was resurrected by God after He died for our sins. Hmm, it does not seem to be looking very favorable for our abilities at this resurrection thing. Seeing as I am God, or Jesus and I am pretty sure none of you are either I don’t think we really have what it takes to do this successfully. So what I plan to do from here on out is to extend my season of “yes” to include my dating practices. My friend and I have declared this our year of the “yes”. We have determined to say yes to things we would normally not do and to live outside of the boundaries we normally set for ourselves. For me I think that means putting the paddles down and not trying to put new life into a dead relationship (I watch too many doctor shows). I will bask in the good memories and be thankful for that person’s place in my personal history and let that be that. I will look towards a future with expectation that there will be a good ending to a new relationship with a new person. That my best dating years are not behind me but in front of me. That the same God who can raise Jesus from the dead can surely help me to meet someone wonderful to enjoy the rest of my life with.
